23 February 2026 

Hello, you stunning soul, and welcome to another Alchemy Scroll, the first scroll in the new Lunar Year - the Year of the Fire Horse.

The rapid, unyielding shedding of the Snake Year may have passed, but now, as we look to gain momentum and are catapulted into a new timeline for our highest good, there are still certain things that we can’t take with us. Things of old, patterns outdated, generational curses we must break before we’re fully embraced by the new earth.

This scroll invites you to reflect on a certain curse that affects many of us.

Before we unravel the scroll, I implore you to take a deep breath, exhale the part of you that feels the need to put others before yourself, and bring your composure back to center.

Back to you.

This is your gentle reminder that these scrolls are here as a sacred remembrance of your divinity. Awakening is not gentle, but the arms that extend to hold out these scrolls to you are tender, full of love. Here, there is no need for fanfare or theatrics. You are only asked to show up as your most authentic self, dismissing any preconceived ideas about yourself, from others, or from the person reflected in the mirror - just as I am here, on these scrolls, showing up with truth, as my most authentic self.

Ready?

Let's dive right in…

People-pleasing.

I consider this one a curse, because I was spellbound by this useless yet incapacitating need to please everyone around me. From the small things, like courteous smiles when I was in no mood to be friendly, to the more complex form of people-pleasing like staying with an abusive man so I wouldn't be shamed for not being “good enough” to make it work, I know all too well what it's like to be crippled by a curse so draining.

Curse is a harsh word, I know. But I’m not using it lightly, and neither am I here to sugar-coat something to make it more palatable. Been there, done that, worn the t-shirt, was burned at the stake in said t-shirt, and I am quite literally done with playing small.

People-pleasing is a curse because it demands that you abandon parts of yourself that become shadows in your psyche. The parts of you labeled “too much” for speaking up, the part deemed “unbearable” by those who thrive on your silence, or the part of you they called “crazy” simply because you understood things, felt things deeply - a depth that not many can tap into.

For me, people-pleasing all began when I was a little girl, having to hide dirty fingers behind my back so the visitors didn't suspect that I baked mudpies in the garden for fun. Or, when I had to hug the creepy uncle who planted his hands lower than the base of my spine, and I still had to smile and greet him as if he didn't make me feel all kinds of uncomfortable, just because Mother would scowl and turn up her nose if I didn’t.

Did anyone care to listen to me when I spoke? Did anyone care that I was uncomfortable because the growing bulge between his thighs churned the stomach it was pressed up against?

Definitely not my mother, who found me in a soiled dress one morning when I snuck outside to play in the garden - my sacred, safe space where the fairies and snails showed me more love than she ever did - and she banged a curled fist at the top of my head like I was a crocodile in that arcade game I loved so much.

You bet I banged those things equally as fiercely after that incident, getting my revenge on the plastic models because I didn't dare pass on the pain to another living soul who only craved love.

But one incident like that quickly taught me that I had no choice but to make Mother-dearest happy, to tiptoe around her emotions and her pleasures like they were fragile eggshells that needed to be preserved.

Apart from having to constantly please her, I also learned that I wasn't allowed to have a voice. The slightest chirp from my innocent lips was considered a threat to her facade of peace. I was an inconvenience to her mere existence, so, naturally, I did everything I could to please her.

My early childhood development consisted of this constant tiptoeing like I was a ballerina without the pretty tutus and slippers, because to her, I wasn’t pretty enough or worthy enough to join the other girls, who I was constantly compared to.

“Look how good she is.”

“Look how fair she is.”

“Children should be seen, not heard.” Except that she refused to see me unless I used the lightening creams she tried to push on me.

People-pleasing led me to losing my voice, the ability to speak up for myself, or the injustices I faced.

See? I told you… people-pleasing is a curse.

It's a curse that led me to put others before myself, one that forced me to neglect my own feelings in favour of someone else's, and accept abuse because it was what the other person wanted.

My mother wanted me to be pleasant, obedient, so as to not inconvenience her and her volatile mental state.

Her second husband wanted me as his sex-slave, to pass around like the perfect ragdoll because it brought him pleasure to see another man's hands on me while I was helpless and at the mercy of the substances he pushed down my throat.

Mother didn't want to hear that the man she married was a monster, and that's why she stayed with him, in turn training me to believe that whatever was going on was normal, and putting up with it for eleven years of my life.

I learned from a young age that she was an authoritative figure, and if I didn't want to get bashed on the head, I needed to obey.

And that's how I went through life, taking every battering and bruise delivered to me by the “authoritative” figures in my life.

Until I became so broken, that there was nothing left for them to take from me. The doctors called it “multiple sclerosis”, but my healing journey taught me that every flare-up was just a broken part of me begging to be healed - a shadow in my psyche rattling my body for attention.

Broken.

The narcissists left me broken, using every form of attack possible: physical, emotional, psychological, and sexual attacks ripped my psyche and body to shreds.

And it was all because I learned from a young age to “people-please” for the ones in power.

I grew up thinking that the adults in my life held positions of power. Mother dearest, then her husband when my father passed away. Mind you, she didn't move on because my father died. No.

She sucked the life out of my father, too, and discarded him the moment he got sick. She likes making people think that she was a weeping widow, whose fifteen year old daughter stole her forty-five year old second husband.

See, I used to keep my mouth shut and live with that illusion, a web of lies woven to protect someone who never protected me.

But that's the thing with narcissists - they create an illusion that benefits themselves. Unfortunately, I was born to an illusionist, and the moment I opened my mouth, I threatened the balance of things the way she weaved them. In order for me to receive her approval - not her love, because she was incapable of loving the only child she ever birthed - I had to abandon the parts of me that begged to be heard.

My voice was stolen. But as I awakened to the illusion she created around her life, I awakened to the illusion that exists all around us.

The false matrix.

A system built on the ego, a hierarchical system we've been enslaved in since we were born, when an ego-driven narcissist decided to step into a position of power that deemed the rest of us “obedient sheep”, to bend and mould in ways that suited the system and kept it thriving - much like Mother’s illusion.

This false matrix exists in every system governing earthly life - like the schooling system that drains the life-force from our children, organized religion built on fear-mongering, work and the economy that pulls us out of truly experiencing life the way God intended it to be, and every other “societal norm” we've been striving for. If we don't fit into boxes, we'll be damned to hell.

Heavy, right?

I know. And while I don’t wish to follow in the footsteps of the governing bodies of the world, I’m not here to preach and advocate for anything other than the truth that already resides within all of us, if we choose to wake up.

And “hell” is only a state of consciousness we push ourselves into when we choose the false matrix over living in our truth.

Because what are we doing on a collective perspective when we “people-please” the supposed authorities?

We're suppressing our voices to maintain “order”, to please the higher-ups who only care to leech off our lives. Like any narcissist who thrives on control, on maintaining that control through illusion, the system is built on narcissism, by narcissists.

We become obedient little sheep who don't threaten the system's control when we stay silent, getting bashed on the heads every time we “step out of line”.

Collectively, we're waking up to the dysfunctional system, questioning, using our voices, and standing up for what we believe in. And where does it begin?

With our individual capacity to speak our truths and stand up against the curled fists that threaten to pound us every time we “step out of line”.

We were never stepping out of line by speaking our truth. Just as I was never out of line for frolicking in the back yard, living my truth as the mixer of earth's bountiful, healing nature.

To the adults who dimmed my shine for their own benefit, standing in my truth is the biggest “fuck you!”, and quite frankly, it's the only fuck I'm willing to give. You see, it was never about revenge, but about reclaiming the power I lost because of them, and forging my own path in which I stopped people-pleasing.

I don’t care if I’m not liked. I like myself as I am. I don’t care if I don’t fit in to join the other girls at the ballet academy. I dance for myself now. I don’t care to be seated at anyone’s table because I built my own. Not just the table, but the fortress upon which my castle is built. And if anyone makes me feel uncomfortable in my own space, they will be flung to the fire-breathing dragon I keep as a pet, licking its lips as it awaits its next meal.

And that isn’t just a threat to those who harmed me or wish to harm me, but a threat to the false matrix as a whole. That’s what the system doesn’t want - for you to remember who you are and step back into your power, and to stop trying to fit into society’s molds. You can never truly please a system built on ensuring you’re never pleased with yourself, the way you are, just like you can never please the narcissist who will always find fault with every breath you take.

If we want to change the world, we need to change ourselves first. It always begins with you. So, as this scroll comes to its end, I’d like you to reflect on these questions…

In what areas of your life are you still trying to please other people? This could be a forced smile, a boundary crossed and overlooked, or burning yourself out to show up for something that doesn't nourish your soul.

Which parts of you are you abandoning to be palatable to others?

What happens when you live in your authentic truth, and please yourself and your Creator first?

What are you afraid of when you finally speak your truth?

These arms remain open, for change is a frightening thing, and sometimes, all we need is a hug to get us through it. You are not alone in your journey, and as we collectively awaken and step into a new world formed on the foundations of love, you must remember that true love encourages truth.

Remember, dear soul, remember who you are…

With love and truth,

Yumna Vally (Raaia)